Saturday, November 28, 2009

The Fame Monster.

Sooo I met Lady Gaga. Here's how.

My friend Carlo works for Extra, doing all of the red carpet interviews and things of that nature. He basically gets to meet every big celebrity that the outlets talks to, which is pretty cool. Lady Gaga was having a signing of her new record on the day of the release at a Best Buy in West LA. Carlo IMed me the afternoon before and told me to call off of work so I could go with him and meet her. I was like “Carlo, I moved out here for this job, and as much as I'd like to, I'm not going to jeopardize that to meet Lady Gaga.” Besides, I saw her a ton at VMAs. He said he had to be at the signing from 3 – 8 and the interview could take place anytime in that time frame, and if I got of work in time and he hadn't interviewed her yet, I should come. Well, I agreed, but didn't think anything of it because it just seemed too good to be true.

The next day, I still wasn't thinking about it, when he texted me at work and told me she was doing Leno in the afternoon, so she wouldn't get to the signing until five o'clock. I get off at six o'clock. And whenever you're dealing with a celebrity and deadlines, you can guarantee that they will be late. So I got to thinking, maybe this could work...

No, no. this was NOT going to work. It just couldn't, right? Besides, work was crazy and I'd probably have to end up staying late that night, blowing my chances to meet Gaga. No big deal. That's when my boss told me she was leaving early so I could leave early too.


So my boss left at five and at 5:01 I grabbed my (adorable) brief case and ran full sprint to my bike. “I'M COMING” I texted Carlo, and was off.

When I got to Best Buy, there were over 3,000 people that had been waiting in line all day. Lady Gaga sent a bunch of pizza to them earlier in the day, how nice is that. Anyway, I cut the line and went to the press check in, gave them my name and told them I was a production assistant for Extra. (I mean, I had made it this far, I wasn't going to let a little thing like LYING stand in my way of meeting her.)

I got in without any problems, put on my press badge, and waited. We only had to wait about 20 minutes, but it felt like forever. We were finally escorted back to the press room where she'd do the interviews before the signing. Carlo rehearsed his interview questions on me, and before long we were doing the “Just Dance” choreography in the middle of the press room while we waited. Not long after I busted out a perfect Charleston, we were told she was about ready. She walked in, wearing a low cut blazer with HUGE structured shoulders. I. Died. We introduced ourselves and she shook my hand and said “It's nice to meet you Tynan” My inner monologue was something along the lines of 'OMG OMG OMG LADY GAGA JUST SAID MY NAME. LADY GAGA IS TOUCHING MY HAND.'


So, we talked for a second, she took a few pictures in front of the step & repeat, and then Carlo did the interview. I was standing there, shaking, freaking, and almost balling. You don't understand, in my line of work, I see celebrities all the time blah blah blaaah, but I love Lady Gaga SO much, I think she's such an artist and a breath of fresh air and a total wierdo. I love everything about her.

After the interview, we got to talk to her for a few more minutes as the the E! Crew was setting up, and I can honestly say she was really genuinely kind, and funny, and you could tell how appreciative she was of all of her fans. I couldn't believe how down to earth she was, even amid all of her monster success. As we were leaving, Carlo hugged her, and then I hugged her (omg omg omg) and then she KISSED ME ON THE CHEEK (OMG OMG OMG). It. Was. Amazing.

And, the clip of her hugging and kissing me was caught by E! and ended up on E! News the next day.


Tuesday, November 17, 2009

This week's obsessions.

(I'm late on this one but I'm OBSESSED.)

Thanks Matt!

I love how it starts "And when I see you, I really see you upside down." I love the entire thing.

Not having the seasons change is SO WIERD. It feels like I'm that dead chick in The Lovely Bones.

Monday, November 16, 2009

"If you feel good around somebody, then you should be around that person."
-Matt Bentley.

Sunday, November 15, 2009


Last weekend I went back home for my parents 25th anniversary party. I was feeling a lot of things about the prospect of going home, I mean, I was excited, but I just wasn't sure how it would go. Being home, seeing my parents, seeing my friends, and then a huge party, which always has a way of making everyone tense and go crazy. But I was excited.

My original flight would was leaving Friday morning and would get me home around 7 or 8 that night, but that week, I wised up and changed it to a Thursday night red eye, so I would be home by Friday morning and wouldn't have to waste a whole day flying when I could spend the whole day PLAYING!

I really like traveling. Being in airports alone is always such a funny feeling. It reminds me of the Jack's Mannequin lyric from Dark Blue “have you ever been alone in a crowded room?” I feel so isolated, when in reality, I'm surrounded by thousands of people trying to get from point A to point B. I feel like airports are always so silent too. Even when they're not. Like all of the background noise just falls away into a hum that you eventually just tune out.

Anyway, of course I got no sleep on the flight, so when I landed, I practically sprinted to the nearest Starbucks, and then met up with my dad who had come to pick me up. It was good to see him, he seemed really happy to see me. The ride back to my house was funny, because he would ask me about work and my social life and all that, and it just seemed so weird to relay the last couple months of my life in one car ride. So odd. Plus, I forgot how boring the Illinois highways are. Yikes. Hello cornfields.

Got home, went to see my mom setting up for the party, freaked out. It was SO good to see her, I'm so queer. The first time I hugged her, I remembered how tiny she is. I feel like she got even littler, or maybe I grew a little.

After, I ran around Rockford for a few, seeing a couple people and running errands. I was having major flashbacks to fall two years ago because I was finally experiencing fall weather, and I was listening to the album “Heroes & Thieves” by Vanessa Carlton, which I listened to non-stop autumn of my sophomore year. Such an odd feeling but such a good one to go back to.


Had lunch with my mom and dad, and then went shopping with my mom because I was determined to find a bow tie. A real bow tie, not a pre-tied one. We had so much fun that afternoon. It was one of those times that you realize, as soon as it's over, “shit, that was the only time like that we're going to have this weekend.” That was kind of a bummer I guess, but it was still good just to hang out with my mom for a while. And I found a bow tie.

I was so beat that night because I hadn't slept on the red-eye the night before so I passed out pretty early. The next day, my parents were running around doing little last minute things for the party, and I was, well, drinking coffee and shopping for the most part. I just couldn't figure out what to do with myself because I was so excited for my friends to get to Rockford! They finally rolled in at about 4 that afternoon and we had one of the most explosive reunions ever. My BEST friends from Monmouth Kassi, Maureen, Mark and Zack were able to come, and it was just so so SO good to see them. They are the four people from Monmouth (with the exception of Matt) that I talk to daily and that mean the most to me. Having them with me again was just such a good feeling.

And then the party. The party was everything my parents could have hoped. It was really beautiful. My mom hired a caterer and we knew she was going to be good, we just didn't know HOW good. I walked in, and seriously felt like I was on the food network or some shit. It was like the Christmas feast at Hogwarts. Literally PILES of food, it all looked so good and was presented really nicely. No warming stations or like, hot plates or whatever the hell you call them, it was all very elegant. Seeing everyone again all at once was great too, all the family and friends who have really been a big part of my parents life, so a big part of my life too, were there. It was fun to catch up with people. There were so many people that were like “so what are you DOING?!” and wanted to hear all about MTV when I really just wanted to know how everything with them was, ha, go figure.

I did the toast and don't think I fucked it up too badly, and spent the rest of the night dancing with my mom and my friends. It was a really great time.

Oh! And Mike came too! He showed up around 8 and it was great to see him too. After the party, we all went back to my place and drank a ton of Shock Top, which is basically everything I could have asked for.

Sunday, November 8, 2009


Ok Halloween.

So Halloween in LA is legendary. West Hollywood shuts down and everyone comes out in full regalia to celebrate, so WeHo was on my Halloween agenda. No brainer, right?

But here's the thing. HERE'S, the thing. I love the whole Hollywood scene as much as anyone, I guess, whatever. I mean it is what it is. But West Hollywood is ALWAYS a hot wreck, not just on special occasions. It's great, because after a long week of work, if you want to go out and have a good time, it feels like a constant holiday. But I'm a dive bar boy myself, so as often as I like to do the Hollywood thing, I like to find quieter bar lounges or off the wall places just as much. I kept hearing how the streets are always packed shoulder to shoulder with people, and all the clubs are over crowed and all of that. Not that I have a problem with that, but I really just wanted to dress up, go out with my friends and have a good time, rather than fight the crowds and try to stick with the group of people I'd be with. It just didn't sound fun to me, and I wanted Halloween to be FUN. Could I really be skipping out on a Hollywood Halloween?!

Friday night I went to a house party (a COSTUME house party, obviously) and had a blast. My Andy Warhol costume was a hit (duh) and all of the people there were a ton of fun. Plus, I met a very interesting scarecrow... So Friday was an absolute success.

Whitney Houston. Obviously.

Saturday was the big day. WeHo or no WeHo? Well, my good friend Brant invited me to go down to Main St. in Santa Monica with him and his friends, and that sounded like fun without being a total mess like my initial plans, to I agreed. We were a sight, that's for sure, Brant went as Britain's Got Talent star Susan Boyle, his roommate went as the bride from Kill Bill. Out of all these straight guys, I was the only one not cross dressing. The irony never ends.

Susan & The Bride

We met up and got ready at B's apartment. They all started taking shots, but the only alcohol they had was flavored vodka, which for some reason makes me stop breathing, so I opted to wait and drink at the bar. By the time we left, everyone was pretty drunk, except me. Picture all of these wasted drag queens and me, sober. It felt like Freaky Friday. As we walked, we kept trying to call a van taxi to get everyone to the bars because no one was in any shape to drive. We decided to walk to Wilshire, one of the bigger streets thinking that we'd find a taxi there. Well, when we got to Wilshire, there was not a taxi in sight. Someone made some drunken smart ass comment about taking a bus, as if any of us were familiar with the public transit system. And as if on cue, a bus pulls up to the curb right in front of us, and opened the doors.

“WHERE ARE YOU GOING??” Brant slurrs.

“Main st. Where are YOU going??” the bus driver yells back.


None of us had any change on us, so she let us all ride for free! And by the end of the trip, she had picked up another five or six people in costume. It was like our own personal Halloween party bus. So wrong.

The rest of the night was pretty great. A lot of bars. A lot of booze. A lot of Halloween debauchery in general. There was a point when the boys were fighting with six bouncers and security guards outside of a bar, and I had to kindly remind them that they were all in full drag and probably weren't going to get anywhere with these guys.

Nice, Brant.

I was worried that Halloween wasn't going to be as fun now that I'm not on a college campus with my best friends anymore, and while it definitely wasn't the same, it was still a shitshow, which is all that matters.

Monday, November 2, 2009

White Houses

I need to write about Halloween, but I think I just need to let the dust settle for a few days before I can really relive it. I mean, I'm not sure I'm sober yet.

In the meantime, I'll leave you with this. This is one of my ultimate "fall" songs, "White Houses" by Vannessa Carlton. I guess I'm a little late in pulling it out this year, but it was like eighty fucking degrees here today so it really didn't feel all that much like fall. Anyway. I'm finally entering the fall state of mind.

"He's so funny in his bright red shirt..."

"It's after Halloween, can we stay together?"

This is one of the best songs off of what in my opinion is one of the best albums of the year, Ursa Major, by Third Eye Blind.

"It's after Halloween
Everything starts fading
I'm losing everyone
I go down like that sun
You know what I mean
I'm just someone in a Summer Town"

Perfect, right?