Thursday, October 29, 2009

Call Me By Your Name

"But sitting here I knew I was experiencing the mitigated bliss of those who are too superstitious to claim they may get all they've ever dreamed of but are far too grateful not to know it could easily be taken away."

-Andre Acimen
Call Me By Your Name

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Chilly and windy and happy.

It was a chilly one in LA today! And WINDY, yikes. If I didn't know any better, I'd have thought I was back in Illinois in late fall. I loved it. And then when I left work, it felt like late spring. I was like, 'alright California, we're going to have to compromise.'

On Monday afternoon, my friend Melissa who works in the talent department of MTV asked me if I was free the following evening because Columbia Records hooked her up with concert tickets to see Boys Like Girls, Cobra Starship, The Maine, and Rocket To The Moon. Of course I was IN.

So the next night after work, we made our way toward downtown Los Angeles to Club Nokia, a smaller more intimate venue which is part of LA Live, a massive entertainment complex. By some miracle, we found street parking close to the show, and started to walk. What we didn't realize was that “This Is It,” the Michael Jackson movie, was premiering that night, directly across the street from where we were going. Of course. So the security was in full effect because of the sheer size of the event, red carpet, and all of that, so weaving our way past/around/through the gates was a chore in itself. And then there were the MJ fans. I have to say, it was kind of cool to see the fans come out for an event like this because it wasn't just the ones jumping on the bandwagon, rushing to the store to buy his greatest hits albums just so they could pretend to love his music just like everyone else. These people were the real deal, and it showed. And then there were the impersonators. Just like at the VMAs, I was once again suddenly surrounded by about fifteen Michael Jacksons. How does this stuff keep happening to me?

Well we finally got to Club Nokia just as Cobra Starship took the stage. I'm not a Cobra fan and never have been, I find their music lifeless, but I suppose that's another conversation for another time. What I'm trying to say is that while they were playing and I wasn't caring, it gave me a chance to take in the venue we were in. It was very new, almost immaculate, very sterile, almost like Disneyland was trying to pass off a rock venue. I'm not saying it was a bad place, not at all, I'm sure it's acoustically perfect and cutting edge and all of that, but I'm so used to these old, historic, lived-in, (read: run down) theaters that are far passed their golden age but are perfect for a rock show, and that's half the fun of going to a show in the first place. When my friends and I saw Alkaline Trio in Milwaukee in April and then Third Eye Blind in Chicago in May, the venues had so much character with all of this chipping paint the smell of years of cigarette smoke and gold leafing all around, so beautiful. And then here I am in this brand new venue which I'm sure cost millions of dollars to design and build and has many hidden bells and whistles, and I'm just like “meh.”

The show was great though, I really had a great time. It was so spontaneous too, which was great.

Halloween is this weekend. Hmm. I know I should say I'm so excited, because I am, but it's just different when you're not on a college campus. Like, this is actually me, an adult, dressing up, in a costume, and going out, in public. BUT, I keep hearing that West Hollywood explodes on Halloween, so I'll be in good company. Let's be serious, it's not the “real world,” it's Hollywood. Still though, just not the same. But still great.

TEGAN AND SARA'S NEW ALBUM, SAINTHOOD, CAME OUT ON TUESDAY. It's all I'll be listening to for...ever.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Try to learn a lesson, but you can't...

This blog really sucks, haha :-) I expected to to be so much different than it is. And I'm hoping that in the future, it will suck less. Maybe if I think it sucks, I should stop blogging...

but then again, maybe not.

I was messaging my fav Professor and good friend Susan Van Kirk, and I told her something that happened this week that I've been thinking about a lot lately, well, in the past few days. I don't know exactly what it was that did it (it was one specific instance, I wish I could pin down what exactly it was) but at some point this week, everything got put back into perspective for me. The full spectrum of what is actually going on really hit me, again. Leaving school, my home, family, and best friends who I consider my family and moving to LA to peruse this job while still finishing my senior year on time. All of it. I tend to section off my life to help me keep it organized; work, school, family, friends, it just helps me keep things straight. But I'm finally seeing it for what it is, for the first time in a while. It's not bad. It's not good. It's just, crazy. There's just so much gravity to it, and most of the time I don't feel it.

UGH wait. Did that sound like I was bragging or being pretentious? I hope not. I constantly find me asking myself that question “did that make me sound like an ass?” I think it's just because I hear these people talking themselves up all the time and bragging and just being generally douchey, and I really don't want to be that. I don't think it's an LA thing, I think you'll find assholes anywhere you go, right?


It really trips me out that it's already almost Halloween. Because that means it's almost November. This year is going so fast, and I'm not even realizing it. God. All I want to do is make it to graduation in once piece. Monmouth isn't making it easy for me either. I just don't want to fuck this up.

Typically, I hate talking on the phone. I'm much more of a texter. There are just so few people that I can actually carry on a normal conversation with over the phone. But today I talked to Kassi for an hour and a half on the phone today. I talked to Matt for half an hour. Both of those are not abnormal at all because they are two of my best friends and that's pretty normal for us, but today it was extra good. I don't know why, I was just soaking up the sound of their voices more than ever today. It just FEELS so good to hear them. I don't know. I'm so queer.

I'm not homesick, I don't get homesick. I don't miss home (that may be a bit of a lie, there are some things I miss about Monmouth terribly) but in general, I'm fine. I think it's just that, with the way that everything happened, I'm caught in this weird nine month inbetween, like, I'm not a college graduate, but I'm a full time employee of MTV. I'm still a college student, but I'm not a “college student.” All of my friends are living their senior year at school and I'm living this crazy adventure of everything I ever wanted to achieve. And it's great! It's all so great. It's just, I think I'm finally finding a way to put into words all of this dissonance I sometimes feel. Sure, sometimes I'm bummed out that I can't be with my best friends, but I wouldn't be bummed out if we all didn't love each other so much, right? So even when it sucks, I'm lucky. I'm so lucky.

Saturday, October 24, 2009


Oh my god I have got to stop stalling and get started on this marketing assignment.

This week was a much better week, I'm very happy to say. I was hoping last week wasn't the start of some horrible downward spiral, ha. Well it wasn't. Thank gah. Anyway, that's all I'll say about that.

Next week is Halloween. WHAT. I'm excited and freaked out all at the same time, because Halloween means that the next day is November. NOVEMBER? Since when?! Ugh. Wow. But my costume is coming together quite well, which I'm very happy about. I may be the only guy in Hollywood who's NOT dressing up as Lady Gaga (surprise surprise). Andy Warhol is much more my style anyway.

I'm going home real quick in two weeks, for my parent's 25th anniversary party. I can't wait, I'm so excited. I'm stoked to see my parents, and my best friends who are coming up from Monmouth to the party. I really wish I could go down and visit school, but time won't permit it, this time around at least. Soon though. I'm almost a little hesitant though, part of me thinks I'll be so happy that I'll just turn into an emotional mess, HA! Well see. I'm SO excited.

I met the cast of one of our new shows premiering in Q1 next year called Hard Times. It's a scripted comedy, it should be pretty good. I just saw the main guy in Fame, and, well, I'm just thinking of this show as his chance to redeem himself, bahaha. I also got my hands on the next episode of GLEE that doesn't air until November 12th, hello perks of the job! Oh, and turns out that two weeks ago when I told my mother “I saw Paranormal Activity,” she didn't know it was a movie and thought I was getting haunted or something, HA. I would.

Matt and I are, whether we like it or not, making a list of songs we need to play when we're reunited. He just added “Flume” to the list, and I couldn't be more excited.

Ok. Marketing. Let's go.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Bad Romance

The final version of this was finally released and I'm so happy (and unsurprised) to say that Lady Gaga does not disappoint. This song is definitely a step in the direction she's been taking lately; a little bit edgier, a little more raw. It's a mix of 80's rock, old school Madonna, and dare I saw a little bit of Ace of Base? It all works really well together though. Take a listen and see for yourself.

Monday, October 19, 2009


"Oh Love, don't let me go..."

That's my favorite line from this song:

Looks like I'm on another Coldplay kick. They happen every three months or so. I might as well just admit that I like them and get on with my life. Matt Bentley got me into this EP. Thank you Matt.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Fix You.

Rough week. But everyone has rough weeks now and again, right? I'm just glad it's the weekend, but part of me is that much more anxious to get back on Monday morning and have a better week. I just need to chill, I am always so hard on myself. This kind of stress is going to age me.

I decorated my room last weekend. The whole summer I was collecting pictures ripped from magazines to put up in my room at the house when I got back to school. But then I ended up not going back to school, so I decided to put them up here. It was a very weird experience. Displaced. BUT, now my room is more than four white walls, and it feels a little bit more 'mine.'

So everyone ended up surviving Brant's birthday last weekend. Well, I did, I'm not so sure about him. Friday night we went out in Hollywood and hit Birds and then went over to one of the bars in The Standard hotel on Sunset and saw this little party band play, and they were really good, much to my surprise. Saturday we hung out at Brant's, watched college football, drank Natty Light and played beer pong (leave it to me to move to LA and get straighter) then hit some bars in his area. There was a point on Saturday night where I was handling the drunks and breaking up fights between guys MUCH bigger than me. Ok when I'm the one controlling the situation, you know something is wrong. But the weekend was a blast. One of the nights we ran into AJ from The Backstreet Boys. ha. Ugh.

AND THEN, Sunday night, for god only knows what reason, Brant and I decide to go see Paranormal Activity. Now, I'm not usually one for scary movies, especially one like this because the buzz on it is that despite a shoestring budget, it's the scariest movie in years. It practically comes with a surgeon general warning. But we decided to see a late night showing of it (real smart). The whole time I was making dinner and getting ready and waiting to meet up with him, I was freaking out. Like, the mere idea of seeing the movie scared the shit out of me. Well, the movie itself was a real trip. It was really scary, but in a fun-scary way, until the last 15 minutes that is, when they just pulled out all the stops. I was having a blast watching it, and would definitely recommend it. I haven't slept since Sunday, but it's a small price to pay.

I'm trying to step up my cooking game. I'm a good cook, but when you're cooking for one, what do you do? Well I went to the grocery store this week and filled up my cart with most everything I could think of, so I'm working on it. And I now know how to caramelize onions. Watch out world.

Last night, when I got home from work after this bitch of a week, I noticed a big box on my bed, with Kassi as the return address. It was the most awesome package I've ever received, with gummy EVERYTHING (my fav), pictures, letters, other unmentionables, and a mix and letter from Matt. I can't even describe how happy it made me, and perfect timing too! I have the greatest friends ever.

Tonight I'm seeing “Where The Wild Things Are” FINALLY. I've been waiting for this movie since FOREVER. Basically since I heard that Spike Jonez was fighting with Warner Brothers to put the movie out. YES. I can hardly wait.

I went out last night to see some guy play at The Dakota, but before I left, I was being a little bitch and turned this song on just because I thought the first couple of lines were appropriate after this hellish week. Anyway, I manned up and went to the show. And he covered this song. It was just a little too poetic, even for me.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Sunday, October 11, 2009


On Friday, my friend from Talent, Melissa, said we should get lunch from The Kogi Truck. I had no other plans, and had heard good things about this truck, so I figured what the hell, why not. Now, usually, I'm not one to eat out of a truck/tent/any other unconventional structure, but this truck is sort of a legend in the West LA working world. It was only then that Melissa told me she was on the VIP list.

What? A VIP list for a Korean barbecue truck? You've got to be kidding me.

Wait a minute, this is LA.

So. We locate the truck, and see a line at least 20 people long waiting to order. “Must be some truck,” I thought to myself. Then, we see a sketchy guy standing a few feet away from it with a clipboard. Yes. Perfect. Melissa and I walk up to him and give him her name, and walks us straight to the front of the line. We could hear the other people waiting to order whispering about how the hell we were able to skip the line, and the whole time I just keep thinking 'this is not happening this is NOT happening.' Well it happened. We skipped the line, and didn't pay a cent. So free lunch from the Kogi truck thanks to the VIP list. What a joke, right? Unreal.

It was Brant's birthday this weekend, so of course we had to party. Friday we went to Birds in Hollywood, (where we ran into A.J. from The Backstreet Boys, HA) and then to The Standard. Saturday was an all around shitshow, watching the Michigan/Iowa game at Brant's place (apparently I watch college football now, yea that makes sense) some drinking games, some bad ideas, and then we went to Q's. Too much beer all around, cut to me breaking up a fight between two guys twice my size. It's like I never left Monmouth.

I really wish I could be at the Equality March on Washington today. Check out this awesome performance by Lady Gaga in support of the movement.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Homecoming spent in Hollywood

It’s Friday thank the LO’! It’s also Homecoming at Monmouth. I’m kind of bummed that I’m not there, but it’s so early this year that it’s a little less weird than I thought it might be. And really, am I seriously going to complain about being in Hollywood instead of Monmouth on this, or any weekend? No. Well, I guess that would be missing the point, so maybe. Just trying to put it in perspective. Work is going great, trying hard not to fuck things up. There are auditions going on a little ways down from me for Gigantic, so I keep running into these teen actors and it’s just like being on the set of Gossip Girl. They’re all really good looking and have perfect hair and smell great, but it’s like, “be serious, you’re seventeen.” And then there’s the stage moms, what a joy. Every time I walk by the other teens think I’m there for an audition since I look young, HA. Bitch I work here.

I’ve decided to be Andy Warhol for Halloween. I’m gonna do it to the nines this time though, a white wig and all. I figure it’s not totally typical or too current, or Lady Gaga.

It’s Brant’s birthday this weekend so we’re all going out to celebrate. I haven’t been this geared up/excited/utterly horrified to go out in a while, so we’ll see how it goes. The two of us alone usually means a total shitshow, so I can only imagine what us and a group of friends in Hollywood means. A direct quote: “We’re starting at Birds, the rest is up to Jesus.” Here goes. I’m getting my haircut right after work before we go out so I’ll look presentable in my mug shot.

This song is great:

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Terrible Yellow Eyes

So I'm going to refer you to another blog today, but this is totally worth it. I know I'm kind of on a Where The Wild Things Are kick, (as is the rest of America, I know, bandwagon) but I'm not really sure I care.

My friend Nate Pyper hooked me up with this. CHECK IT OUT.


Faces Of Us

I've talked about Faces Of Us before, and Im'a do it again.

In observance of National Coming Out Day, my friend Brendan is having people submit essays about their coming out experiences. Like I always say, the whole 'gay' thing isn't really my battle of choice. Most of the time it just is what it is, I trust that people will come around soon enough. I think rather than flying your rainbow flag at every given opportunity, people need to be a little more tactful if we really want to push for change BUT, that's a whole different story. I mean I know there will come a time that the fight will need my support as well as everyone esle's, hopefully sooner rather than later. I really respect what Brendan is doing and I think the stories are really powerful. He asked me to submit one too, so I did. You'll find it on there, if your interested. More than anything, I really feel this is a cause that deserves to your support.

Monday, October 5, 2009

I just want to put this out there.

My list of the worst people in the world.

1. Dakota Fanning
2. Miley Cyrus
3. A tie between Perez Hilton and Adam Lambert. guh.

Thank you.

Party In The USA

Say what you want. I hate Miley Cyrus but I am ob. sessed. with this song. It's about moving to LA and it came out like the day I moved out here. Bitch stole my thunder.