I Feel It In My Bones...

So I survived my first week. Not even survived, but I feel like I handled it quite well. All in all, I am so happy with how it went. It's sort of odd that today is Labor Day and I have the day off, because I'm so anxious to jump right back into all of it. I guess I should enjoy it while it lasts though, since Sunday is the MTV Video Music Awards. It's bound to be a crazy week at the office. On top of that, MTV is sending a car for me at 5am Saturday morning so I can make my flight to NYC at 7 and be there by late afternoon. Surreal. It's no use trying to explain how crazy this all feels for me, so I wont. But damn.

Still no word from Monmouth. I'm still working on all of my schoolwork as if this isn't happening, so I'm hoping that counts for something, that it will swing fate or whatever.

My living situation is working out great. The lady who owns the house, Jacquie, and I get along wonderfully. She has four children who are all grown, and most of her family has been around lately too, whether they're just here on vacation or are living in the huge house temporarily, and they have all but adopted me as one of them. It's really great of them because at the end of the day, I'm just some random kid from the midwest renting a room. But they've really taken it upon themselves to make me one of them. Leave it to me to fall into Los Angeles high society by chance. Saturday night, we had a huge family dinner on the terrace, and Sunday we all went to church (at 8am no less) and then 'brunched' at a little inn in Topanga Canyon. After that, one of the daughters and I went to a movie, and then finished off the night with another big dinner. I wanted to take it easy this weekend so I opted not to go out, I just can't afford to be exhausted or sick for the upcoming week, so taking some time out with what seems to be my new second family (or third, or fourth) was more than fine.

I'm reading Valley of the Dolls right now. It seems appropriate.

People keep telling me how amazing this entire situation is, how lucky or deserving I am. Truth is, I really don't even think about it. If I do, I'll probably just freak myself out. And the dust hasn't settled yet either, I don't want to get ahead of myself. The only time I realize how weird it is, is on the weekends. It's not that I'm homesick, because I'm not, it's just weird to be out at some Hollywood bar and get a text from my best friend about what's happening at the nasty frat house, and realize I'd be just as happy to be there. That's where my heart is.

I'm so excited for what's to come, what with THE VMAs next weekend (that doesn't even seem real to me yet), and some of the new people who've made their way into my life, and really just the year in general, no matter how things turn out. I am so excited. I know there are still some battles I'm going to have to fight, but they'll come, and I'm ready. I think I've resigned myself to the fact that there isn't a “How To” book anymore. Not for my situation at least. Now I know I'm not super special and people take big risks like this everyday, but my point is, doing the four year college thing, that I knew how to do, and when I had questions, I knew where to go to get answers. Not anymore. But I'm ok with that. In some weird way it almost gives me confidence. I don't know if that even makes sense.

I don't know that I'll ever really get used to this.


High Lounge